thingsi hope you realizethe light you saw in my eyeswas nothing but your own reflection
unfilteredtake a drink,and forget for a moment that you aren't breathing.you comb starlight;these sunset broken tea leavesbleed into the sky,filling, filling, fillingin the cracks where the darkness is unfilteredlike black coffee,too strong for your heart to take, tonight.take another drink,bleed another verse and remember what your shelvesare filled with, remember all those lettersthat they wrote to you, postcards from the placesthat in their sandpaper callousnessyou have never been(and bleed again,just another nicked arteryhemorrhaging into facsimilegoblets -drinkagainand tell me -can you taste it yet?)
Hard Won SunshineOn a good day,I've got sunshine in my veins.A backlit smile,And a spring in my step.And people don’t thinkI’ve ever known…Faces in the night,Looking for me.Shadows on my face,From lack of sleep.People rarely think…Of the ash in your bones,The tar clogging up your thoughts,And blocking out the light.But what people think…About how your skinFeels tight when you smile…Doesn’t matter.What matters is…It never stops.It never gets easier.Bad things will happen.But if you can wait it out,Endure,Survive,Last just a bit longer than you think you can.You will get stronger.And things will get better.It might seem impossible,But whatever you do,Don’t give up.Because I’ve been there,Lost in the darkness.So far down I thought I’d never get out.I know how hard it is to keep fighting.But I also know…That you can do it.Believe in yourself,You are greater than you know.
pipe dream.dreams:I’ve always wanted a boyfriendI could watch porn withand drink straight vodka withuntil we’re too drunk to knowwho took whoto bed.I’ve always wanted a boyfriendI could ridewithout feeling embarrassedthat there’s a freckle on my breast;a boyfriend who could make me fall in lovewith his eyelasheswhen they’re wet with tears,with his breakdowns and daydreamsand every honest, vulnerable little thing.I’ve always wanted a boyfriendwho could make me believe in Godbecause miracles were realand I didn’t need evolution anymoreI didn’t need to believethat things were destinedto change –that I didn't want them to change.dreams:(I just wanted it to be perfect.)truth:You called me heroinbecause you were addicted.“You ruined my life,” you’d say,drinking straight out the bottle.You never drank with me,so I always knew it was youwho was too drunkto get my je